Luke Goes to Dillard's

A.J. and I went to Dillards the other night to buy an undisclosed gift for an undisclosed person (my mom). I thought it was just going to be a regular evening of Christmas shopping, but no....no, it was not. A.J. stayed in the car, since we had both our dogs with us, to make sure they didn't pee/poop, or kill each other...or both. Anyway, I'm looking in an undisclosed part of Dillards for the undisclosed person's (my mom's) gift, when I get a phone call. "Hello?" I say. My ear is met with hysterical laughing. It takes me about 10 minutes (ok, maybe that's an exaggeration) to figure out that its A.J. (probably because I've NEVER heard him laugh so hard). Once he finally quiets down (....a little)....he says "Luke is in Dillards!" "What??? You're joking. Stop that!" I say. "No no!!! He's IN Dillard's!!!! I'm looking at him now through the window!!! There's all these people around him!!!" "What??? You can't be serious!!" I say, as I'm walking toward the front of the store. "YES!!! HE'S IN DILLARDS!!! I opened the window so he could stick his head out, and he JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW!!! He just pranced right up to the door, and it opened for him....and he just walked right in like a little person!!!!!" I'm still in shock. All the sudden, as I'm nearing the purses, I see a woman and her child shopping. The woman gasps and jumps back....and yes, yes....I see the little head of my little black and tan weenie dog peek out from the bottom purse rack. My face shows utter HORROR. I'm still on the phone with A.J. We are both about to lose it. Secretly, I hope to be able to stay on the phone, walk out inconspicuously with Luke following me and no one knowing he is mine. Was it that easy??? NEVER. I try my plan, but he doesn't follow. He is hiding behind the purse rack. There are people gathering around on their cell phones. The security guard is even there. Dear God. I bend down..."Luke! Come here Luke!! Come here!!" He comes to me, and yes, I pick him up. A man asks, "Ma'am, is this your dog?" To which I say "Yes, yes he is," as my face burns red, and I'm laughing ashamedly ( ok, so that's not a word, but it is rather fitting.). I get outside the store and lose it. I think we laughed for a solid 30 minutes. So, my friends, my dog has definite stalker potential, and has been shopping. True story.

The End.